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Monday, 11 February 2013
Olorisupergal: Top 7 Horrible Gifts To Give This Valentine
Love is no more a box of chocolate and flowers (or boxers), although maybe a different tasty box of chocolate and (a sexy red brief for him) Now as we count down to that special day, I know you’re probably racking your brain on what to get for him or her….let me give my Top 7 most horrible gifts, you should never give this valentine.
Let’s begin the count-down shall we!
7. A Dog or puppy – Animals are adorable (aww) however the larger the animal the bigger the poop, you’ll have to put effort into caring for it as well (L). I’ll say with a gold fish you can’t go wrong!
6. Do not give weight loss products – No one like being told he/she is overweight, never give stuffs like weight watchers discount cards, a gym membership and diet products (a spa membership is awesome) – No! No! No! (In Destiny’s Child voice) but seriously NO!
5. Perfumes – At the number 5 spot, which moved from number 10 the last time – perfumes come across as cliché and offensive. You are more or less saying “Baby I think you should work on your smell and “I’ve been trying hard to find the perfect gift for this day, I’m clueless”. Maybe you should probably save this for another time.
4. Cheap Wine – Cheap! Smelly wine is a bad gift. Wine bought at a convenience store is probably cheap and poor quality. Preferably, a nice suitable bottle with quality wine, your tux, her sexy evening gown and a marriage proposal. (Sips and winks)
3. Porn – *swallows spit* Pornographic materials like adult movies or magazines are not part of the plan…. (Also a nude picture of you is a terrifically-bad idea) porn actually crosses the line of good taste. *straight face*
2. Stuffed Animals – This was suppose to make it to the number 1 spot ….but it slipped L…Wait a minute, unless she is not a child, you do not give stuffed animals. They are unacceptable and “baby you can hug on them whenever you miss me?” – ACCESS DENIED this valentine.
1. *drums rolling, back flips, screaming,* so brace yourself for the most horrible gift to give this valentine – NOTHING! The absolute worst gift and most horrible (-‘est ‘pardon me) is to give – nothing! (Are you a Learner?) She may also take offense to receiving some money and a card (don’t try it) this Valentine, but a nice gift, will be remembered.
Valentine’s Day is a day between both of you, you can be creative (not annoying), and you can be thoughtful. I say a better gift and the best gift so far, fellas take her to mama, ladies – don’t sleep with him, introduce him to the family *dodges stones, chairs and runs* Written by Olusola @BossRicky01 on twitter!